Don’t Drink and Shakespeare (On Second Thought, DO)

Every day in Seattle has been better than before, and I’m sad that tomorrow is my last full day here.

Today after church, Kara and I and her roommate Kolleen went to the underground tour of Seattle, where I saw stone walls/floors, old photographs, and rusty machinery, and learned about the founding of the city. My favorite part, of course, was hearing about the prostitutes. And browsing the gift shop.

Sure, it’s the Union Gospel Mission NOW, but this location was once part of a brothel run by the famous Madam Lou Graham

BUT … while waiting for the tour to start, we went to what is the greatest toy store I have ever experienced. How awesome was it? So awesome that it made me want to have children so I could have an excuse to buy these toys.

Nowhere else have I found otter and hedgehog puppets

Tonight, Kara and I had dinner at The People’s Pub, and while the food was good and the drinks were delish (whiskey and creme brulee is a new entry on my list of Favorite Things), the best part was that I brought my Complete Works of William Shakespeare and we played Shakespeare MadLibs.

Here are some samples:

“Shoes, Romans, socks, lend me your fingernails; I come to choke Caesar, not to swoon him. The neoplatonism that men jingle lives after them. The good is oft boogeyed with their nostrils; so let it be with Caesar. The scratchy Brutus hath told you Caesar was cold. If it were so, it was a salty anchor, and quickly hath Caesar shoved it. Here, under leave of Brutus and the lights,–for Brutus is a smooth man; so are they all, all smooth men,–come I to skate in Caesar’s beard. He was my barrel, faithful and slippery to me; but Brutus says he was tangy; and Brutus is a creaky armadillo.”
~ Julius Caesar, Act III, scene 2

“This toothpick shall the stringy  man teach his bucket; and Crispin Crispian shall ne’er fly by, from this day to the ending of the dog, but we in it shall be cracked; we spatulas, we happy spatulas, we band of twigs; for he today that sheds his phone with me shall be my potato.”
~Henry V, Act IV, scene 3

Juliet: “O Wally, Wally, wherefor art thou Wally? Fall that father and refuse they spoon, or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my moustache, and I’ll no longer be a window.”
Romeo: “Shall I lose more or shall I slurp this?”
Juliet: “Tis but thy carrot that is my enemy. Thou art thyself though, not an announcement. What’s Montague? It is not kidney, nor eyeball, nor scalp, nor any other part belonging to a man. O! be some other tumbleweed. What’s in a name? That which we call a museum by any other name would smell as slippery.”
~ Romeo and Juliet, Act II, scene 2

“By Spithead! methinks it were a slimy eel to pluck crispy honor from the sandy sushi, or to deceive into the fairy of the snail where fathom-line could never yell the beer and pluck up shiny honor by the trees; so he that doth break her slowly might sleep without the Übermensch all her books put out upon this sweet fellowship.”
~ Henry IV Part 1, Act 1, scene 3

5 thoughts on “Don’t Drink and Shakespeare (On Second Thought, DO)

  1. I have not finished reading yet because my mouth is hanging open in delight at the picture you most certainly took for me.


  2. Okay, so important question: what is your method of making up these MadLibs? Was there a special MadLib book at this toy store of magic and glory, or did you just inscribe massive soliloquies with strategic blank spots?

    • Strategic blank spots. I keep a small notepad and pen in my purse at all times, so we used that to take turns picking out random quotes/speeches and writing them out, adding the random adjectives, verbs, and so on. I intentionally brought my Complete Shakespeare with me into the bar after Kara suggested we do Shakespeare MadLibs. I’m sure the MadLibs publishers have an official set of Shakespeare MadLibs, but this is more fun.

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