How to Have a Relationship With an INTJ

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4 thoughts on “How to Have a Relationship With an INTJ

  1. As a fellow INTJ, I totally relate to this. I’m constantly telling girls, “Be yourself.” I would say that “Encourage, but don’t “fix.” is the biggest one for me. I honestly hate it that people tell me that I need to fix myself. I am constantly fixing myself while others don’t. My parents are constantly saying to me that you need change, which has made me incredibly mad and hurt by them.

    You got another follower! Love your posts as a fellow INTJ and follower of Christ!

    If you want, I would love for you to follow along my blog. I discuss many things.


  2. I can relate most with 3 and 4. I’ve taken a short internet test twice and was INTJ the first time and INFJ the second time when I changed one answer I had been undecided about. As for the other things, I don’t need someone to be blunt, and I’m not blunt. I express things in a gentle manner if it might hurt someone’s feelings or upset them, or in response to them hurting my feelings or upsetting me. I will actually write it up in advance making sure it’s as kind and gentle as possible so as not to cause a stir. Sometimes I don’t bother, depending on what it is. I pick my battles,

  3. Thanks for this; it’s useful to know :)

  4. I just recently discovered your blog, and as a Christian INTJ female, I can really relate to your writing!

    In this article, #3 totally hits home with me. When my husband of almost 42 years proposed to me, my reaction was, “ARE YOU KIDDING?? You expect me to give you an answer to a life-altering question like that without careful consideration? I need to study this, and pray, and consider every angle before I answer you.”

    I kept the poor man waiting for TWO WEEKS while I prayed, and made lists of pros and cons and carefully considered various contingencies, before I finally answered yes…..

    He has said in the intervening years that he had gotten to know me well enough by then that he pretty much expected that kind of response (although he was sweating bullets for those two weeks!). And by the way, I was 17 and he was 23. No one could have possibly accused me of being a starry-eyed teenager swept off my feet by emotions. As an INTJ, I just don’t work that way! ;-)

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